


Beer, Beer!

by TwoRefined



Series: Chan Drabbles [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Fist Fights, Frottage, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Violence, Self-Denial, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:32:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoRefined/pseuds/TwoRefined
Summary: RED Scout finally turns 21! BLU Scout gets him a present.





	Beer, Beer!

**Author's Note:**

> More old shit I never uploaded here. Heavily inspired by several pieces of art drawn by outfightinglions on the TF2-Chan.
> 
> Keep in mind, this was years ago and I'm not sure if those works are even still up or not. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Here's their tumblr, though. http://outfightinglions.tumblr.com/

“The fuck you doin’ here?”   
  
The BLU Scout – that cocky bastard – just grinned up at his RED counterpart, eyes glinting mischievously. “Whatcha think, asshole?”   
RED scowled, and went back to watching the huge, 17” TV the company had provided in the Double Cross break room.   
  
It was way after hours – both of them should have been in bed hours ago – but there wasn’t really any other way they could host their secret meetings together. RED was feeling a tad pissed, though – he’d already showered, and didn’t want to get all sweaty and gross again. And, judging by the faint whiff of Old Spice he smelled, his old pal recently took a shower just FOR their rendezvous.   
  
The old, worn base creaked mournfully, as if trying to fill the silence. BLU flopped beside him, still grinning. “What, you’re ignore me now, punk?” He punched RED on his shoulder, intending it to be playful, despite it connecting a tad harder than he’d hoped.   
  
He was promptly socked twice as hard, the scowl on his old friend’s face deepening. “Fuck off, man!”   
  
BLU pouted. “What?” he complained as he rubbed his sore shoulder. “That fuckin’ hurt… The hell’s your problem, anyway?! It’s after hours – we can do whatever we want!”   
  
A snort. RED turned his attention back to the TV. “Not even. You know how _she_ is. We can’t be friends, on the clock or off it.”   
  
“Oh, what? So we’re  _friends_  now, huh?” The grin was tangible in the boy’s voice.   
  
“Fuck you – you know what I mean. We can’t be seen together.”   
  
“So let’s not be seen together! What’s your problem?”   
  
RED suddenly hauled off and punched his old friend in the stomach as hard as he could. “You think I’m kiddin’?!” he snapped. “I’m NOT like you! And even if I was, I’m NOT gettin’ in trouble just ‘cause YOU wanna fool around!”   
  
Gasping and wheezing. The fairer-haired boy doubled over the couch as he struggled for each breath from the unexpected attack. RED glared daggers at him a little longer, then went back to his TV. “Just leave, man,” he muttered.   
  
There was a long, painful silence. He straightened up as soon as he was physically able and looked away, trying to bite back his bitter disappointment. “Yeah, well…” A sigh. “Whatever… Take these at least, then. I ain’t luggin’ ‘em back with me.”   
  
RED was actually a tad surprised. He’d been so concentrated on trying to ignore his counterpart, he didn’t even notice that BLU brought something with him. He blinked as two twelve-packs of ice cold beer were shoved into his hands.   
  
“For ya 21st…” The kid continued as he tenderly rubbed his stomach. “Couldn’t make it last Tuesday – Solly was really on my ass for gettin’ fingerprints on his shovel display – but I… I’unno. Thought I’d bring ya somethin’ anyway. Ta celebrate.”   
  
RED paused, looking down at the two packs, and sighed, rolling his eyes. “You really expect me ta drink all this by myself?”   
  
A shrug. BLU stood, wincing at the throbbing pain in his stomach. “Save some for later or somethin’ – Iunno. I’m gettin’ back ta my side before Solly figures somethin’s up.”   
  
RED sighed, thumping his head irritably on the wall as his old, heartbroken friend melodramatically shuffled away. “God damnit… Alright, fine. Get back here. I’ll play along this time,” he huffed.   
  
“Fuck yeah!” BLU miraculously recovered in two seconds flat and flopped on the couch beside his counterpart, grinning like he’d just struck the lottery. “Just like old times, huh, Dale?”   
  
The hissing of a freshly opened can was the only response.   
  


* * *

  
Half an hour passed with the liquor loosening the boys’ tongues as well as their inhibitions. The TV was still droning on in the distance, but BLU couldn’t care less about what was on, and Dale was so drunk, he couldn’t even pretend to be watching it.   
  
Sometime during the night, BLU had taken off his shirt and was now snickering uncontrollably as he clung to the couch as the world veered crazily around him. “Ah, Gawd… Aw, dude, I’m sho drunk, yo!” More snickering.   
  
Dale rolled his eyes and jabbed his half-full can of beer at his counterpart, not even noticing as some of it slushed out. “Man I… Iunno why yoush even botha drinkin’, mansh… You can’t hold ya liquor worshth a CRAP.”   
  
BLU tried to prop himself up unsteadily on his arms. He gave his usual lopsided grin, and slurred out, “Y…Yeah? Wellsh… FUCK you, man… I’m fuckin’ 23 – I cansh drink whenever da FUCKSH I want, gotdat?”   
  
Dale rubbed his eyes with his free hand and groaned. He’d spent his entire life desperately wanting to get drunk, only to desperately want to get sober again. “Fuckin’ hell, man… Thish was a fuggin’ bad idea. How you shupposhed ta get back, for fuck’sh shake?”   
  
“Like I got here – duh,” BLU snickered. “By walkin’, dumbassh.”   
  
“Dude, right now you sho drunk, you can’t even… You can’t even fuggin’ sit up shtraight.”   
  
“You dun know that.” BLU was sprawled face-down yet again, his boney frame clinging to RED’s waist as if he were a safety-line.   
  
RED snickered despite himself, and rolled his eyes. “Well, it’sh been fun n’ all, but you should get back now before anyone hearsh us.” His eyes lingered on his friend’s naked torso a little longer than necessary, but it was probably the alcohol. Yeah, probably the alcohol.   
  
“What? Nooo. C’mon, man…” the other Scout grinned up at Dale mischievously, his hands sluggishly tugging at the cheap black belt around his friend’s waist. “We ain’t even got to the besht part yet…” He pushed up the younger’s shirt just above his nipples, and lovingly placed a kiss on one of his abdominals.   
  
It didn’t take very long for Dale’s face to darken like a stormy day. His brows knitted together in bitter resentment and his lips curled upward into a snarl. “Fuck no, man. I told ya already. Get the fuck off.”   
  
Scout took hold of Dale’s dog tags and yanked on them, his grin curling up into a clear challenge. The RED’s belt was now undone and his fly down as far as it could go. He even nudged the waistband of his younger partner’s boxers down a little.   
  
“What’re ya scared or somethin’?” he hummed, his eyes a tad unfocused, but cocky enough to make his statement infuriating and seemingly impossible to back down from.   
  
“NO, I ain’t,” the RED Scout shot back, scowling. “But you’re crazy if you think—”   
  
“C’mon…” BLU prodded gently, his eyes half-mast with lust and his inebriated state. Dale watched, entranced, as the older boy’s tongue darted out between his lips to moistened them. “Just a taste. You can pretend I’m a chick if ya want. Doesn’t make ya gay if ya just wanna get ya rocks off.”   
  
Dale hesitated, his gaze lingering on the hunger eagerness on BLU’s face. He looked away, as if thinking it over extensively in his head. He couldn’t deny that all the attention was going to his head… So to speak.   
  
After a while, he grunted and shrugged. “Well, alright… Go ahead.”   
BLU grinned, released the jingling dog-tags from his grip, and happily obliged.

When BLU had given him head the first time, one of the things that caught Dale by surprise was how loud and messy it was. Maybe it was because he was always more inclined to do “favors” when completely shitfaced, but now was no exception.   
  
The blonde slurped noisily as spittle dribbled down Dale’s throbbing cock and accumulated on the fabric of the cheap couch. Being pleasantly buzzed, the chestnut haired boy was happy to sit back and enjoy the sensation, even though he wasn’t quite drunk enough to forget this was a guy sucking him off.   
  
He got over it the way he always did: insulting the BLU to hell and back. “Oh, fuck yeah, you little faggot-assed slut…” he crooned darkly around the can of beer he was still nursing. “Aw, yeah… You like sucking my dick, don’t ya, you fuckin’ whore?”   
  
BLU just chuckled around Dale’s member and looked up lazily as he continued.   
  
Dale moaned and grabbed a fistful of his hair. “Oh, fuck… Yeah…” A grin split his face in two. “Does sucking my dick make you hard, you sick fuck? Does it get you off? You’re a fucking whore, ya know that? God, you so want it…”   
  
He _was_ getting hard, actually. Dale’s version of talking dirty was as endearing as it was inexplicably hot. There was another moan as his hair was tugged roughly and the younger boy’s hips rolled up to get more of that delicious warmth. “I oughta fuck your fuckin’ mouth like the slut you are…”   
  
BLU just sucked on his cherry red head until he was shaking and cursing too much to make an intelligent response, and licked playfully up the underside of the shaft. Dale went limp, panting like a slut. “Oh shit, you… You BLU son of a bitch… Oh, God…”   
  
BLU gave a teasing lick. “You can call me by my name, if you want…”   
  
“What? No.” Dale scowled. “I ain’t bringin’ feelings into this. I’m just gettin’ my rocks off – like you said.”   
  
BLU cocked an eyebrow, smirking. “Yeah, right. You’re just worried that I’ll be in trouble or some shit if I tell you. Didn’t I say I’m a big boy? I can look after my own ass fuh ya information.”   
  
“Still, man. Damn. Ya in the middle of the RED base, and you wanna go blabbin’ ya name? Save it fuh later, dipstick.”   
  
BLU just smiled and leaned by the flustered RED’s ear and whispered, “It’s Cameron.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of Dale’s neck gingerly.   
  
Dale flushed and shoved him away. “Y…Yeah. Whateva. You gonna keep sucking my dick or what, man?”   
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Cameron chuckled. “But how about a little somethin’ fuh my troubles, huh?” He smirked and started unbuckling his own pants.   
  
“Oh to HELL with that!” Dale screamed, shoving the blonde away so frantically, the older boy fell face-first to the ground. “I’d rather lick that old, scrawny bitch’s wet cunt than touch your dick, you fag!”   
  
A scowl as Cameron unsteadily propped himself up with his arms. “Funny. That ain’t what ya said last time,” came the bitter response.   
  
Dale ignored him. “Way ta go, numbnuts – ya killed my buzz. Kindly fuck off now.”   
  
“Fuckin’ Christ – I’m not askin’ for you to roll over and let me pound ya in the ass! I just want a fucking hand-job!”   
  
Dale ignored him and started watching TV again.   
  
There was a low growl, and suddenly Dale was yanked to the floor by his ankle. He yelped as a fist connected with his cheek, and a small trickle of blood oozed from inside of his mouth. “Ya fuckin’ asshole! You’re nothin’ but a selfish, horny little brat!”   
  
“Who are you callin’ a brat, you BLU faggot?!” Dale returned the punch, and rolled on top of his older counterpart. Another punch. “You’re the one trying to turn me into a fuckin’ gay princess! I told ya, fucker! I don’t swing that way!”   
  
Cameron clawed at the younger boy’s face, and kicked his legs viciously. “I’ll show ya princess, ya little—!”   
  
It wasn’t long before the boys were brawling and rolling around on the floor, punching, kicking, clawing, and biting. A nightly ritual for them. It was a struggle having to fight and curse each other out without alerting any more of the RED combatants, but they managed. Sometime throughout the fight, Dale lost his pants and boxers completely, with only his loose shirt covering up his modesty. Cameron was lucky enough to keep his shorts on, but they were pulled down to his knees, and his erection bobbed freely.   
  
Finally, the two came to rest with Cameron – sporting a black eye and many dark purple bruises on his torso – panting on top of an equally ill-fated Dale. Dale grunted and squirmed, but he couldn’t break the pin Cameron had on him. “G…Get off, you fucking fat fairy!”   
  
Cameron smirked, and licked his lips free of the blood dripping out of his nose. “Looks like I win, shrimp.”   
  
“FUCK!”   
  
“Don’t worry.” A biting kiss to the crook between Dale’s shoulder and neck. The RED moaned, cheeks flushing with embarrassment and arousal. “I’ll go easy on ya.”   
  
Carefully positioning himself, Cameron rolled his hips down until their twin cocks met. Dale jerked and moaned convulsively, entire body going taut.   
  
A grin.  _I knew it. He wants it just as bad as me._  There was another rough kiss – this time against Dale’s lips, as Cameron continued rubbing their slick members together. 

Another thing that made these sessions so rewarding was the how endearingly sensitive Dale was. Poor kid was always so pent up by the time Cameron got to him – he felt it was his duty to show him a good time whenever he could.   
  
Dale moaned and writhed underneath Cameron like an eel as the older boy ground their hips together. “F…Fuck… Get your… gay… fuckin’ cock OFF of me, man!” he cried, snarling with faux disgust.   
  
“Shut the hell up before I fuck ya for real.”   
  
Dale stopped talking, but he sure as hell wasn’t silent. Every thrust prompted a needy whine or a muttered curse from the younger boy’s lips. The way he was squirming around and panting like a bitch, you’d think he’d never gotten off in his life.   
  
Cameron sat up so that he was straddling the younger Scout and teasingly ran his thumb across the sensitive head. Dale sat up, and for a second Cameron was afraid they’d have to have another fist fight to get him to calm down again, but was pleasantly surprised to find that Dale was just stripping off his shirt – the last article of his clothing. Cam eagerly followed suit by kicking off his pants.   
  
“You finally gonna admit that ya like it?” he huffed with another of his grins.   
  
The RED just grunted. “Just hurry… hurry up, alright?”   
  
There was a nod, and the older boy redoubled his efforts, rolling his hips and stroking both of their shafts together with practiced ease. It didn’t take Dale long to lose himself to the sensations – within minutes he was clinging to his older partner and biting on his knuckles in a desperate attempt to stay quiet and not alert the team.   
  
Cameron had to limit himself to a few quiet moans as well, pumping their slick cocks with an increasing amount of urgency. Without thinking much about it, he went in to lock lips with the younger boy.   
  
The end result was far from perfect – their teeth clicked together, their foreheads bumped, and their noses were smushed together, but for a first attempt… Well, he’d take it. His heart swelled a little when he realized that Dale seemed to be pulling him closer to deepen the kiss, as well.   
  
Fuck, he was getting close. Cameron stopped grinding their hips together and supplemented it instead by furiously jerking them both to completion. Dale moaned richly into his mouth – his breath was so warm.   
  
So… So fucking…   
  
With a strangled cry, Cameron came, splattering them both with his seed. The sight of him climaxing must have been too much for the younger boy, because it wasn’t long before he was brought to a shuddering completion as well.   
  
For several long moments, the two just laid there, with Cameron slumped over Dale comfortably.   
  
Then, there was a sniff. And then another one. Cameron sat up and was greeted to the sight of the younger Scout just barely holding back tears in front of him.   
  
“What’s wrong?”   
  
“The fuck you think?” Dale replied, pushing him off without any sort of vigor. “I… I can’t fucking be gay, man… I just CAN’T. Fuck…” He looked down at his cum-splattered chest with a newfound sense of panic.   
  
“Hey, man, hey,” Cameron soothed as best as he could. “I ain’t gonna tell nobody, alright? I mean… You’re one of the straightest fuckin’ guys I know. Really.”   
  
“Yeah…” Another sniff. “… Sides… I mean, we don’t even know if I’m really gay or not, yanno?” A pause. “I mean… Sure. I let YOU do all that stuff with me, but if some other faggot came up to me and was all, ‘Hey, ya wanna rub dicks?’ I’d nail ‘im in the nads so hard, it’d cave in on itself. He’d be a damn lesbo by the time I’m done with him!” A quiet snicker.   
  
Cameron cracked an awkward smile. “Heh… Yeeeeah. Anyways…” He pawed around for his clothes. “Guess I’d better get back and wash this crud off. You should, too.”   
  
“Oh. Yeah. Right.”   
  
The two pulled on their clothes, wincing at how damp and sticky they felt. The older boy rubbed the back of his head. “Alright. I guess I’m headin’ out, then. Glad ya enjoyed drinkin’ an’ everything.”   
  
Dale caught his arm as he turned to leave. “Hey. Wait.”   
  
“Yeah, what’s u—”   
  
Dale pressed another kiss to the older boy’s lips. It wasn’t much better than the first, but Cameron could tell there was a lot of heart put into it. He kissed back, in earnest, until they were both a little dizzy.   
  
When they broke away, Dale smirked at his counterpart and shoved him away playfully. “Don’t expect me to go easy on ya tomorrow.”   
  
Cameron laughed and did a short salute with two of his fingers. “Wouldn’t be fun if ya did, half pint.” He clambered haphazardly out of a window and raced back to his own base, feeling as light as air. 


End file.
